The Ash Girl aspires to ‘find the readers and wake the princesses’. Readers being readers of the book and readers of the Harris | Crowley Thoth Tarot deck. Waking as in opening to more and more expansive ways to see and be in the world, and princesses being the taroic metaphor for the latent divine in our human story.
Begin your personal QUEST by yourself or gather a group of co-journers to read chap by chap - engaging in deep conversation using these questions . . .
(or anything else this story invokes)
I would love to hear what you discover (a form to be in touch is at the bottom of this page).
QUEST(IONS)
CHAP 0
Can you recall when you transitioned from experiencing the world as magical to experiencing the world as too real? What magic from before the 9 Year Change are you reclaiming (would you like to reclaim?)
Have you remembered your guardian animal? If so what is it? In what ways has it been a companion/guide? What do you/might you ask of it to protect and guide you in your becoming?
IF place has a vibrational frequency that can match our own, where do you feel ‘energetically’ most at home? Perhaps you are in search of it . . . what has that search been like? How does this fit into the story of where you were born in this life? Past lives? The future . . .
WHAT IF you had been initiated by a goddess in a dream as a child? Shown your Guardian, given your true name?
Athena sees all of Frieda’s possible futures in the fire and yet it is clearly up to Frieda to choose or decline the path that the cards and goddesses prefer for her. Quantum Physics, Destiny, Karma, Free Will are all implicated here. What are the differences? What do you believe is in your hands? How are you wielding that power?
CHAP 1
Amelia’s disappearance awakened, amplified, or clarified the desire lines of multiple characters in the book all at once (see if you can name them). When have you been a part of a shared event that affected you in unexpected ways, perhaps entwining your desire line with that of others for better? worse? (at this point in the telling). How might you tell a version of that story using the Desire Line Story Shape in the Chap 1 Blog?
Charlotte has been drawing the same picture since she was nine. On this day she suddenly draws herself in a plane, spiraling into a vortex, what do you think is happening for her at fourteen? What markers do you recognize in your journey through layers of ‘awakening’ (perhaps starting around 9?) Where do you feel you are on that journey?
Over fifty years have passed since Frieda ‘forgot’ her true name, her guardian animal, and the role she was to play . . . Percy reads her the news of Amelia, she recalls the name The Princess of Air, connects that to the tarot and sees it as a sign to paint the deck for Crowley. When has this kind of chain reaction led you to make an important life choice? How did you (do you) view it? (e.g. as random, serendipity, an active intervention of your god/guides?)
Skrying (see the Blog) and choosing her initiation name are both significant rituals in Frieda’s story. What do you see as their functions for her? How are they different or similar? What rituals do you engage in or (might you) create that serve your life journey?
Athena for centuries has been ‘nothing but her nature’ as a goddess of war, strategy, wisdom, and now she weeps in apology and grief as she thinks about Artemis turning to stone. What might the implications of this shift in her nature after all of this time be? For her? For the humans that create, perpetuate, and edit her mythology?
CHAP 2
The goddesses have humans ‘born to their line’ . . . if we explore that notion, along with blood ancestry, deep ancestry (like the human genome project tracing migration paths out of Africa with DNA markers) and past lives, what story of your life does that invite you to explore or tell?
In this story, the High Priestess throne stands empty. Why do you think that is? What do you think that implies . . . for this story? For our current story of the world?
Charlotte had a stunning moment of what I think of as being ‘seen’ by the universe when the picture she has drawn all of her life is shown on the screen and given a name . . . Ara. When have you been seen or affirmed in a way that changed how you saw yourself? Tell me that story.
Occupation is a theme in this work. From the idea of a muse guiding an artist to a hostile takeover of a country (or the world). What conversation might this begin about occupation in its various forms that expands our collective view, perhaps to mitigate the harmful aspects and amplify the good?
As these characters thicken a bit, which one(s) are you resonating with? What are you curious about for them? What hopes are you beginning to have for their future? How might the resonant character(s) be a reflection of your own life path/quest?
CHAP 3
The Ash Girl is essentially about listening to one’s life and following the path that is for the higher good. Listening comes in many forms. How do you listen to your life? What are some of the ways your guides make themselves heard? What is a recent sign, or serendipitous moment, that told you to KEEP GOING!
Charlotte is in need of a teacher. A real one, she implores. What is the teacher you might need now? When has the teacher shown up when you, as student, was ready?
The Ash Girl is MANY myths making themselves. One is out of family lore. Gert started a tradition of storytelling on her siblings’ birthdays – one for every year of their lives. And declared family law – if one tells a story the others believe it. What family stories of yours are moving toward myth? Whose story might be ready to tell as a teaching story, or to reveal something of the mystery of life?
The Third Thing is a thing. In science, nature, and art. Study the Character Map in the Chap 3 BLOG here, and notice where two bubbles seem to have ‘tension’ – attracting one another, and who or what might bring them together. When have you experienced the Magic of 3 on your life path, either being the right person to make a connection, or having a third thing work magic for you?
Goddess Energy is rising! The Ash Girl is a myth in retrospect, posing the question, WHAT IF what we are experiencing now is the story in the cards continuing to unfold . . . where are YOU seeing evidence of the rise of the divine feminine and how might you/we amplify it?
CHAP 4
“Names are everything!” Athena rages. Yes. (read more about this topic in MAP 4) What significant names have you had/been given/ taken on for yourself that signaled a transformation of identity and belonging? Are there names that no longer fit? (Athena is known in myths for her kindness and strategies for peace and yet, she seems to no longer be the same goddess!) What if a new name was asking for you to claim it? What might that be? How might you listen?
Crowley calls this the Age of Horus; the narrator (who IS THAT?) calls this the Age of Forgetting. Both are mythic, metaphoric names that point to and include the most important aspects of our times and tries to reveal the state of the universe to our limited minds eyes. What would YOU name this age, and why? If you hold yourself in the context of the name of this Age, who does it call you to be, become, feel, think, do?
Both Frieda and Charlotte have experienced feelings of going mad due to the occupation of goddess energy in their bodies. The goddesses occupy women (briefly) in WWII to imbue them with confidence and clarity of their gifts and role. A trusted energy worker told me recently that our human bodies aren’t built to hold that energy inside! (as she taught me how to make that shift) What experiences have you had of being in your ‘superpowers’ or ‘occupied’ by a ‘divine’ force? What practices do you (or might you) take on to find the right level of connection to your divine aspects?
Alicia dreams on her path to awakening. The dreams of those who are something that their culture - of family, community, country, world - don’t recognize, nurture, support. I have noticed a SIGNIFICANT increase of people coming to me that are ‘dreaming the dream’ - re-awakening to long suppressed extraordinary gifts. What might this mean? What are your dreams?
CHAP 5
Asmeret and her Grandmother have gifts that are misunderstood and considered ‘strange’ in The Village of Ash, although there is a sense that their gifts are important aspects of their oldest traditions. But as the culture of hunting shifts so do the perceptions of what roles are needed and acceptable. Have you experienced having gifts that are misunderstood or not accepted in your family, your ‘village’, your time? What is your relationship to those gifts? How might you seek the fertile ground where those gifts, and you, can flourish? Who are your allies? Teachers? Receivers of your gifts in the past? Those waiting for you to show up?
Charlotte is moving through her DESCENT as a Princess of Swords | Air - in Chapter 4 we might use the tarot minor arcana to describe her ‘magic’ night flights as a state of perfect balance between the material and the mystic minds as she perceives herself as chosen to do divine work on Earth and is able to do so with ‘superhuman’ powers (6 of Swords), but at some point (between Chap 4 and 5) she starts to doubt and tell herself stories about who she is and what she is doing that moves her away from her divine aspect (7 of Swords). She gets stuck in an internal war (8 of Swords) between her desires to be ‘normal’ and grounded - marry Ben, have children, live on the farm - and to fly completely free between worlds and do the (guided) work of the goddesses. She is not only caught in this paradox of two competing identities (and belonging no-where) but by Chapter 5 she has descended into self-cruelty to the point of considering suicide (9 of Swords). To move through these states to the other side of what’s possible, the next level of being in this life, she must make the leap to the 10 of Swords, BREAK OPEN her own heart (get out of her story loop in her head) and allow others to help her claim her true life and her true name. This is the ultimate test for The Princess of Swords, Mood Fighter. To find something to ground her and find the strength to keep going, to fight against the dark emotions and let in the sun (Calling up the Mountain to her highest voice - or as Crowley called it her HGA - Holy Guardian Angel). And she succeeds (with a lot of help from the Knight of Disks | Earth). When do you recognize the descent of swords in your own life (perhaps not to this extreme?)*, and what helps you move down and through? How might you recognize and tend each layer of movement while working to break open your own heart? This is hard work, and can’t be done alone. Who are your guides and allies? Who is your HGA? (You don’t need to know the answer now, a step is to ask the question).
The ASCENT happens very quickly for Charlotte. The voice in the dark pulling you out of the labyrinth, the ray of light through the clouds, the gasp of wonder and relief when your feet are back on solid ground. The breadcrumbs and signs to what’s next adding up and starting to make sense. Recall a moment when you stood on the top of the mountain and knew who you were, even if you weren’t sure what that meant or where you were going next. Tell me that story.
*The Ash Girl touches on very deep spiritual and psychological work but is not in a position to offer counseling or advice. Please seek the help that you need if you find yourself in a descent.
CHAP 6
Asmeret stands on the edge of the abyss at 20 with two decades of re-storying to do having, understandably, refused the call to be the reader of the tarot deck thrice times (or more). There is an old joke - the short version is a man drowns in a flood from atop his house roof after refusing sound advice and a rescue. He asks God why he forsake him and God answered, “I sent you a Rabbi, a Priest, and a boat, what more did you want?!?” Have your guides sent you a Rabbi, a Priest, and a boat? What is the message or calling you still haven’t answered fully yet? Why do you think that is?
What are the stories in which you haven’t yet fully claimed your divine aspect? Take the opportunity to transform a story that causes you pain or shame into one where you can love that part of yourself and see the light in the dark.
Asmeret has a Tree of her own! A space where she can explore, read, reflect and create rituals for herself that help her hear her ancestors and guides. What is your ‘tree’ or space that is yours? If you don’t have one, where might you start?
The coins in the story are metaphoric and yet represent the principle of moving the gifts—both giving and receiving—to keep the world(s) in balance. How do you know when you are out of balance? How might you make the adjustments needed to offer your gifts or receive gifts (in ways that build intimacy and community*)?
NOTE: Finding the line between commerce and art is tough in our times—I love how Lewis Hyde’s book, The Gift, offered me a perspective on this that I could use as a guide on when to charge for my gifts and when to give them away.
CHAP 7
The imagery of the Thoth Tarot and the narrative of The Ash Girl is dense and layered (echelons of meaning you might say). Rather than look with literal eyes or worry about understanding the meaning-making of the artist or author, what if you trusted your myth-mind and selected a passage (or card) or two and let yourself simply begin to tell a bit of your story from where that image or passage begins? You might try it now in a journal or with a group or a friend.
Birds are everywhere in this book, not by design, I assure you, AND in fairytales and myths birds are an inherent part of the fabric. Which bird references speak to you in The Ash Girl? What messages do they carry or intuitions do they evoke? (I hear Raven bark FOCUS at me more often than I care to admit.) How might you actively seek out birds (real and mythic) to give you access to deeper knowing and messages from long lines of mothers and guides?
Some believe that our Primary World (the one we see, feel, hear most of the time) is further down in the echelons of ‘reality’ than its comfortable to fathom. Elon Musk has said he believes we are living a simulation of a superintelligence . . . and Buddhist tradition has varying ways of describing reality as ‘unreal’ including equating our perception of reality to a dream. The Ash Girl is speculative fiction, reawakening our minds to alternative ideas. So, without committing to a belief necessarily (I will confess I am a hesitant explorer not an evangelist in this territory), I invite you to speculate, WHAT IF this life is some kind of dream? How do you feel about awakening? What might be possible that isn’t possible now?
CHAP 8
“She understood that the sadness and rage she had carried inside her was not her own, but an echo of the great sorrow of women and men, separated and lonely. She came to know that the Great Mother’s voice had gone silent, her story long lost, and now she was gathering all of her pieces back into One. Whispering the mysteries again into the ears of artists and mystics.”
Asmeret is the “same age as the Universe”, as are we. When have you been aware of carrying a burden of sadness, sorry, anxiety that you cannot trace to this life? What if it were an echo of those gone before, how might you carry it differently? What role might you have in rectifying and healing the wounds that we share?
Where do you see, sense, experience the Divine Feminine or Great Mother gathering the pieces back into One? How might you be a part of that gathering?
Artists and mystics have historically had a special role in helping bring forth the next layer of mysteries we are capable (and willing) to comprehend. What or who are your favorite purveyors of the mysteries? Why do you think they have connected with you so deeply? What have they helped you see, be, do differently?
Forgive, never forget is a theme in Map 8, alchemized with our relationship with Trees as witnesses that outlive us. Free associate from these themes and see where it takes you . . . tell the story that comes to mind, or weaves itself out of these story strands.
CHAP 9
What objects do you have that carry special meaning or area a part of your magic ‘toolkit’—help you hear, see, divine, or discern what you need to know. How did you come by them? Does something still seem to be missing? How might you go about being found by the missing piece or to make the needed shift in your head or your heart?
What ‘magical beliefs’ did you have as a child? I had an imaginary black bird and believed brown cows gave chocolate milk! What beliefs or child ‘ish’ practices want to be recalled, re-loved, and maybe even re-storied into your life?
Consilience (the Blog) Post 9 contains passages for deeper dives as reflection or conversation . . . HERE
CHAP X
The Wheel of Wholeness is a progression of conscious evolution that can be applied to our personal quests. Certain years of our lives numerically add up to 10—these are growth years for us in which we can expect the dynamics of changing fortunes that are ‘leveling up’ our gifts and consciousness significantly. The key is to hold a stillpoint in the center and BREATHE through the twists and turns. Calculate the Fortune X growth years of your life and tell the hindsight stories of ‘leveling up’ that came out of those years . . .
GROWTH YEAR CALC:
Date/Day of Birth 14
Month of Birth 9
Year (current) 2020
EQUALS (reduce digits) 2+0+4+3=9
This will give you your CURRENT growth year (if over 21 reduce e.g. by adding the two digits so that 22 = 2+2 = 4)
From there it is a simple ‘guess and check’ of when your last/next growth year numbered 10 (X Fortune) was/is. My next is next year starting on my birthday in 2021, my last one should be around 9-10 years before that one as most growth cycles go in 10 year increments then a new pattern begins (but check as we have ‘leap’ growth years that break the cycle) . . .
14
9
2012 (so 2012-2013 from bday to bday was my last Fortune year)
2+0+3+5=10
EVERY YEAR gives us the opportunity to use our Growth tarot card as a guide to tending our own ‘leveling up’ process. I recommend a reading at your birthday each year that incorporates your Growth (and Soul) tarot cards. Contact me if you are interested. If you have Angeles Arrien’s The Tarot Handbook, she included a lovely tutorial and chart to keep for your Growth and Soul symbols as well.
CHAP XI
Once there was a story and no one to tell it . . .
This Quest(ion) is an invitation to LEAP and tell a story for which you have no idea what comes next.
Select an object or photograph (or card) that has some significance to you but for which you don’t know its story . . . a gifted or found object, a family heirloom, an old family photograph of an ancestor or even a photo or image from a web archive of history or mythology!
Begin like this: (Object) knew the story. It gave the story to me . . .
As you write it or tell it DON’T EDIT!!!! Just let it come even if it feels like nonsense.
Come back to it in a week or two and see what surprises or insights it holds for you!