Turn of the Wheel
“And so we find our story at the turn of the wheel. A gate. A Passing through place. Spinning toward the next way of being.”
Chapter X is initiation space. Perhaps you noticed the shift in naming of chapters from arithmetic numerals (1, 2, 3 . . .) to Roman Numerals. Perhaps you wondered why? In the Wheel of Wholeness (which represents a pathway of conscious evolution for both individuals and the collective), as we pass through ATU X Fortune, the time has come to fully realize our next level of being as fully integrated human | divine creatures, having mastered (hopefully) some kind of reflective practice, identified some of our gifts, and committed to bringing our lives into alignment with our true nature in service to the whole (even if it is motivated by and focused on healing our own pain and wounds).
As the presumptive ascendant to the High Priestess Throne, The Ash Girl is now focused on Asmeret’s story of becoming her next level of human | divine creature, at the age when her people enact the ancient ways of initiating the boys and girls into adulthood and full belonging to the tribe: A party Asmeret isn’t invited to, yet she she is compelled to crash it—and to make her own rites of passage.
ATU X Fortune on the outer rim represents the elemental forces of Fluctuation and Transformation. (Angeles Arrien also names the associated principles of Opportunity, Breakthrough, and Abundance.) As a ‘between-state’ (X is both a culmination of, and a new beginning of) we are subject to emotional highs and lows as our external and internal experiences fluctuate between ‘positive and negative’ poles. With a practice of stillness and listening to our guides, fluctuation gives way to transformation and we emerge radiant, strong, and ready to offer our unique gifts in service to the Primary World at a higher level of alignment with our true nature. (Without stillness, we get caught, spinning in place, as if on a crazed carousel that never lets us off.)
Specifically, Asmeret is in a moment of entwined sexual and spiritual awakening—she comes into her first menstrual cycle (along with the other village girls of her age) and she finally feels ready to use her full powers of sight with the addition of the tarot cards Hestia has been keeping for her.
The cards show her immediately and clearly that she needs to go to the initiation ceremony in her village. There she is drawn to Arsema, just as the others of her age group are drawn on this day to their desired future life partners. There will be no village ritual to acknowledge and consecrate their connection so Asmeret (re)claims Arsema with a kiss, and Arsema seals the deal by drawing blood that stains her white dress and Asmeret’s red cape. In the tarot, this is an alchemic marriage of opposites coming together into an entirely new, and unified, form. (In a future essay I will dive DEEP into the alchemic symbolism here.) In literary terms it is both subtext (the prophetic story of (re)unification) and foreshadowing . . . theirs will continue to be a dangerous liaison.
Passing through X is also an opportunity to have significant breakthroughs of the story you tell yourself, the world, and the story you live. While Asmeret is allowing herself to experiment with the possibility that she is a shaman, like her Grandmother, she is also facing the story of ‘foresaken’ from the typical path to marriage and that the fact of her life (even being alive) is counter to the story her people held for her.
Kneeling, she tipped her head back. No blade came to claim her.
Instead she goes to sleep side by side with the little black dog (the other half of her heart—a surrogate for the lost part of herself) and dreams, not the nightmares or chthonic journeys of her childhood or out of body experiences, but simple dreams of what has been and what may still come to pass.
When she wakes up she is ready to turn toward her future and starts on the road to Asmara (notably the dual name of the City of Clouds and her lost brother—the prince of the market).
